


Some Kind of Solitude

by AmyPond45



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Made For Each Other, Post-Apocalypse, Saving Each Other, psychic!Jared, psychic!Jensen, saving the world after the end of the world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-06 16:13:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12821217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyPond45/pseuds/AmyPond45
Summary: Two hundred years in the future, ragtag groups of human survivors eke out a humble existence after a series of apocalyptic events referred to only as The Purge. Jensen Ackles was raised in an adobe fortress somewhere in the former American midwest, a life that has its perks but not much in the way of adventure or excitement. Then one day a tall, handsome stranger walks into his life, changing Jensen, his worldview, and possibly the future of humanity itself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by amberdreams’ glorious, amazing artwork (embedded below). I hope my story can begin to do justice to this! A great big **Thank You!** to my indomitable beta, [onlythefireborn](http://onlythefireborn.livejournal.com/profile) for all her help with this thing. Many thanks to the amazing mods of [2017 J2-Reversebang](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/J2_ReverseBang) for making this challenge possible!

The dream starts the same way every time.

Jensen’s trapped inside his childhood home, under a bed, choking on thick black smoke. He can see flickering light through the murky air, and he knows it’s fire. It’s coming for him, and he can’t hide from it forever. He needs to get out, try to make a run for it, but he’s frozen by terror, hoping against hope the fire will stop before it reaches him.

Then the dream changes, never playing out the same way twice. Sometimes he sees someone reaching for him, someone he doesn’t know, flat on his stomach like Jensen. Sometimes it’s a stranger, sometimes it’s someone familiar, someone Jensen thinks he’s seen before. A boy, not much younger than Jensen, with long dark hair and dark eyes.

“Come on!” the boy shouts, gesturing wildly.

The dream shifts again, and now Jensen’s running down the stairs and out of the house, into the dark night. He feels the smooth wood of the floor under his feet, then the rough planks of the front porch, leaving splinters. The boy is tugging on his hand.

“Come on!”

Jensen feels the cold night air on his skin, takes deep breaths to pull it into his singed lungs. He can smell the smoke, hear the flames behind him. He feels rough soil beneath his feet. He stops to turn around, to look at the house, completely engulfed in flames. He doesn’t understand how it could be burning so fast, so furiously.

“Come on!”

The boy grabs his arm, trying to pull Jensen away from the fire, and for the first time Jensen wonders where his family is. His mother, father, little sister, big brother.

“Jensen, we have to go now!” the boy shouts. “They’ll be back!”

Sometimes he runs, runs until he wakes up, heart racing, palms sweating, lungs bursting.

Sometimes, when he tries to turn away from the burning house, his feet are stuck. Something heavy is pulling him down. He struggles, panicking, but something has hold of him and he can’t move.

In that variation of the dream, just before he wakes, he hears the boy screaming

**//**//**

“All right, Ackles. You’re up!”

Jensen’s eyes slide open, then immediately slam shut again. He’s in his bunk in the barracks, finishing his rest period before his next shift, but it feels like he’s only just managed to fall asleep. He lay awake too long after the dream this time, and when he finally drifted off, rest period was over too soon.

It’s over _now_.

“Up and at ‘em!” The call comes again, this time accompanied by a rough swat at his partially blanketed legs.

Jensen rolls over, blinks up at his commanding officer. Captain Morgan.

“Come on, son,” Morgan says, his voice warm with affection. “You and Penikett are up next.”

“Okay, boss,” Jensen nods, wiping the sleep from his eyes with the backs of his hands. “I’m up.”

Patrolling the wall has been Jensen’s job since Morgan’s people came to this place, some twenty-two years before. Even as a teenager, Jensen was good with a bow. His father had given him a small bow and a quiver of rubber-tipped arrows for his fifth birthday, had promised him he’d be a master archer one day, like his dad.

After his family died and Jensen was taken in by Morgan’s community, Morgan gave him a new bow and quiver to replace the one he’d lost in the fire.

“You’ll have to make your own arrows, son,” Morgan had told him. Then he showed him how.

Jeff Morgan and his group of more than three hundred men, women, and children are all the home Jensen has known since the night of the fire that destroyed his family. Outliers like the Ackles didn’t survive long on their own, Jeff had explained more than once. Too many Raiders. In the early days after the Purge, individual families had holed up in bomb shelters and mountain cabins all over the country. But Raiders had found them, pillaged and raped and killed until there weren’t many left,. At least that’s the way Jeff Morgan saw it.

“There’s survival in numbers,” Jeff said. “We stick together, we’ve got a fighting chance against Raiders, Diggers, all the bad guys. Good defense is the best offense. We survive long enough, we can start up a whole new civilization.”

It wasn’t much of a plan, all things considered. But it beat the alternative.

**//**//**

During their long shift on the wall, Jensen and Penikett take turns watching different sections of the mostly-barren landscape that stretches at least a quarter-mile in every direction around the fort. When the moon is halfway across the sky they pause to share a small meal of dried meat and stale bread, sharing water from a plastic canteen. Plastic and glass have outlived tin and other metals from the time before the Purge, but glass breaks too easily for everyday use, and as such is preserved for special occasions only. The art of glass-blowing has been long forgotten.

“Do you think Morgan’ll call the meeting tonight?” Penikett bites off a piece of dried meat and chews.

“Nah,” Jensen shakes his head. “He’ll wait till Chris and Steve get back.”

The water situation at the fort has become dire. The river and several small wells had dried up during the past year, and no one can deny that the water table is sinking. The central well, usually fed by an underground spring, has been the only source of drinking-water for the community since late spring, and lately it’s been pumping dark, sludgy water that has to be filtered and boiled before drinking. Soon the community will need to move, to find fresh water.

Morgan has sent scouting expeditions, three so far, on month-long treks into the wilderness in every direction. Each time, the scouting party comes back empty-handed, or with tales of places that sound like scenes from Jensen’s worst nightmares. Wildfires blaze to the north and east, nothing but desert and dust to the south and west. More than twenty-six days have passed since the last expedition departed, and the entire community is on tenterhooks awaiting their return.

Whatever the scouts report, whether good news or not, they can’t stay here.

Just a little after dawn, the scouts return. Jensen sees them first. Three figures emerge from the western horizon, where the ground slopes down to the river, moving slowly but steadily toward the fort.

“There’s three of them,” Penikett notes as he moves up beside Jensen, shading his eyes against the morning glare.

Jensen raises his binoculars, one of only two pairs they’d found buried in an underground bunker beneath the fort when they first got here. Along with the canteens and a few rusty knives, they’re all that’s left of the military encampment that occupied this spot for almost three hundred years.

Chris Kane is flanked by their other scout, Steve Carlson, and a bare-chested man with long, flowing hair. Something is familiar about the man’s face, but from this distance his overall presentation - minimal clothing, long hair with decorative feathers and what looks like a swath of black paint under each eye - identifies him pretty clearly.

“Looks like Chris and Steve have found themselves a Native,” Jensen remarks as he lowers the glasses. Penikett takes his turn, nods.

“I’ll let the Captain know,” he says. As he leaves, Jensen raises the binoculars again, focuses them on the face of the Native walking towards him. The man looks up, squinting against the sun, and Jensen feels a tingle of familiarity again.

When they’re close, Kane raises his arm in greeting, and Jensen raises his in return. Chris and Steve carry packs on their backs, and they look ragged and dirty from weeks on the road. Thinner. The Native is huge, Jensen realizes now that he’s close. Taller than the other men and built like a rock wall. He wears breeches and leather boots, but no pack. Jensen imagines he’s got a knife or two tucked into the boots or the waistband of his breeches, but they’re not visible, which is interesting. It’s as if he’s trying to appear harmless, although Jensen has the distinct impression the man is capable of inflicting considerable harm when he needs to do so.

The thought sends a shiver up Jensen’s spine, not in an unpleasant way. There’s no denying the man is intensely attractive. It’s been a while since Jensen allowed himself to indulge in physical pleasure; there are too many daily chores to attend to, too many dangers to confront and guard against. Order must be kept above all in the small community. Although there are several women who have made it clear that he would be welcome in their beds, Jensen prefers to keep to himself, to keep the most intimate side of himself private.

Not to mention his preference for a hard-muscled body and stubbled chin. 

Penikett has returned with Morgan and a small greeting party of five more men, and together they turn the crank that lifts the gate into the fort. Jensen and Penikett flank Morgan as the scout team and their visitor cross the threshold and Jensen’s eyes meet the Native’s for the first time.But not the first time, he thinks. Jensen feels the tingle of familiarity more profoundly now, and he can’t help but wonder if the Native feels it too. His eyes are light-colored, like Jensen’s, but with more gold and blue in them, and Jensen thinks sometimes they flash dark, like in his dreams, but Jensen’s not sure. He’s never told anyone about those dreams, how the boy’s eyes flashed dark, or maybe they were always dark.

There’s nothing about this grown man that resembles the boy in Jensen’s dream, except maybe his dark hair, but Jensen knows it’s him. He’s never been so sure of anything.

“This is Jared,” Chris is saying. “He knows the land.”

“Welcome, Jared,” Morgan says, his voice rumbling with authority. He makes the sweeping motion with his arm that is the universal gesture for hospitality. “You are our guest here.”

Jared nods, tall and solemn, giving Morgan the respect that custom warrants. As Morgan turns to lead the way into the longhouse Jared glances at Jensen again, that earlier flash of recognition confirmed by a little upturn at the edge of his mouth, a softening of his gaze that makes Jensen shiver.

“How’ve you been, Ackles?” Chris greets him with a firm hand on his shoulder, and Jensen smiles as they fall into step behind their Captain.

“Better without your sorry ass always ordering me around,” Jensen answers, and Chris chuckles.

“Yeah, I’ll bet you were hoping I wouldn’t make it back,” Chris says. “They’d have to promote you.”

“They already did,” Jensen assures him. “I’m commander of the guard now.”

“Not for long,” Chris mutters good-naturedly.

The men file into the ceremonial meeting room and take their seats on long benches along three walls around the central space. Morgan has alerted the community elders, who take their places of honor at the head of the area and glare as the rest of the group sits down. This is a closed meeting, but the room seats at least forty people, and every space is full. Jensen stands at the back, near the door, Penikett beside him, to turn spectators away so the elders can hear the first report.

“Welcome home, Commander,” Jim Beaver, Chief Councilor, starts the meeting. “You bring us news.”

“Yes, sir,” Chris nods, standing alone in the middle of the hall, flanked by Steve and the Native. Jared. “The West is mountainous, overgrown and plagued by wildfires. Carlson and I thought it was impassable at first, but then we found Jared.”

Chris steps aside, gestures for Jared to step forward.

Jensen watches intently as Jared turns his head, slowly taking in the room full of people. Jensen wonders what he thinks, how he’s feeling right now. Natives live alone, or in small, tight-knit units. They shun the company of others by choice, living a solitary, nomadic existence since their ancestors left the crumbling society that existed before the Purge. They live off the land, away from the now-destroyed cities and towns of civilization. The term Native had been given to folks who literally “went native” at the End Times, before the Purge, and the name had stuck. Natives are hermitic - some say mystic - and it is rumored that they can see the future.

Except for Jared, Jensen’s never met a Native. They don’t usually show themselves, according to the stories. They watch. They know about groups of survivors like Jensen’s, but they don’t participate. They’re not joiners.

Jensen can’t help hoping he’s the reason Jared is here. He doesn’t know why, but Jared’s presence fills him with anticipation. Something big is happening, and Jensen just might be part of it.

He wishes Jared would catch his eye again. He wants to feel that thrill that Jared’s gaze gave him when he was first introduced. He knows it was real, he’s sure he didn’t imagine it, but he needs to feel it again like he never knew he could need anything. Jared makes him feel alive. Inspired.

Jared’s gaze falls on Chief Beaver, then on each of the Councilors in turn, and Jensen can see Beaver’s eyes narrow suspiciously.

“Something you want to tell us, son?” Beaver asks, deliberately condescending, and Jensen winces. Maybe Jared won’t answer, he thinks. Maybe he’ll be insulted.

“I know the way,” Jared says. His voice is soft but clear, sounding younger than Jensen had expected, and Jensen lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Through the mountains?” Councilor Kim Rhodes asks, obviously impatient with Beaver’s skepticism. “You can get us to the other side?”

Jared nods silently, and Beaver rolls his eyes.

“Well, you’re a regular swimming hole of info, ain’t ya?” he scoffs.

“And is it true there’s an ocean?” Rhodes coaxes, ignoring Beaver, who gives her the stink eye but lets her speak. “Water as far as the eye can see?”

“Yes,” Jared nods. “But that water isn’t for drinking. It’s full of salt.”

“Oh, that’s not good,” Rhodes says. “All that water and nothing to drink?”

“You can’t drink the ocean,” Jared agrees. “But you can drink from all the lakes and streams and rivers flowing into it. Most of them, anyway.”

“How long will it take us all to travel there?” Councilor Whitfield speaks up for the first time.

“Six months, give or take a little,” Chris answers. “Jared’s sense of time is a little different from ours, but that’s about what we could figure out from what he told us when we found him. That’s why we came back instead of pushing on. The way we were going was getting us nowhere.”

“And you trust him?” Beaver snaps. “You believe him when he says he knows the way?”

Chris straightens his shoulders, glances at Steve before answering. “Yes, sir, I do.”

Beaver shifts in his seat. He glances at Morgan, then at Councilor Williams, his other top advisor. Jensen can see Williams is on board; he chews thoughtfully on the toothpick in the corner of his mouth and pulls it out before he speaks.

“You do understand we’re a little low on options here, Jimbo,” he says, his grumpy tone belying the fondness he feels for Beaver. Everyone knows how close these two are, and it’s not just because they’re the oldest members of the Council. “Well’s drying up. River’s already done for. We’ll be out of water by spring.”

“No need to remind me of that, Steven,” Beaver grumbles. “I know what our options are.”

“We could send another team,” Councilor Omundson suggests. “Let them follow him all the way to the ocean. When they get back, they can lead us. No need for all of us to follow the Native.”

“You’re talking about waiting a whole year before we go,” Councilor Steen speaks up. “That’s cutting it pretty close. There’s no telling if our water supplies will hold that long.”

“They’ll hold,” Rhodes nods. “Some of us may need to travel the river upstream to find its source, and we may need to do some digging…”

“And pray for rain,” Steen adds darkly. It hasn’t rained in longer than any of them wants to think about, and with summer approaching it’s unlikely they’ll get more than a passing thunder-shower every few days, if that.

There’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that the community has to move. Their once-lush prairie is quickly becoming a desert.

“It’s settled, then,” Morgan says. “We send a team out with Jared, confirming the trail to the ocean. While they’re gone, we do what we got to do to get ready to move. Come spring, we head west.”

Beaver clenches his jaw, narrows his eyes at Jared. “You’d better be right about this, boy,” he says. “There’s over three-hundred souls counting on you here.”

“I know the way,” Jared repeats, soft and sure, making Jensen’s spine tingle again.

**//**//**

They don’t waste time. Chris and Steve want to lead the new expedition, but Morgan won’t hear of it. Both men are exhausted after their month-long journey. Morgan insists he’ll assign a new scouting team in the morning.

“I’d go myself if I could,” he tells his men as they gather around him, awaiting orders. “I’d like to be the first to see that ocean of yours, Jared.”

Jensen can tell by his tone that Morgan has already welcomed Jared into the fold. He trusts the younger man instinctively, just as Jensen does, just as Chris and Steve obviously do.

Jared smiles for the first time, and it lights up his face, causes deep canyons in his cheeks that resemble the ones in Morgan’s face. Now he like the boy Jensen remembers, and Jensen realizes with a start that Jared is probably younger than Jensen.

Jensen’s suddenly dying to get him alone, to ask him about his dreams.

Morgan assigns sleeping quarters to Jared and takes him on a tour of the fort. Jensen wishes he could tag along, but of course he’s on duty for another four hours. He follows Penikett back to the wall reluctantly, and the other man elbows him in the ribs as they start their climb up the ladder to the wall.

“You like him,” Penikett accuses with a sly grin. “The Native. Jared.”

Jensen’s cheeks flush, but he knows Penikett is just being observant. You don’t work closely with a man for ten hours straight every night without learning everything there is to know about each other; he and Penikett have worked together for the past month, since Penikett replaced Chris on the night watch. Of course Penikett knows where Jensen’s sexual preferences fall.

“Who wouldn’t?” Jensen shrugs. “He’s gorgeous.”

“And exotic,” Penikett nods. “Outsiders are always sexy.”

Jensen glances sharply at him, but Penikett’s expression is open, neutral. He catches Jensen’s glance and grins.

“Nah, he’s not my type,” he assures Jensen. “Plus, I’ve got Osric.”

“You too are serious?” Jensen’s aware that Penikett had a thing for the man, but he hadn’t been sure it was returned.

“Oh yeah,” Penikett confirms, grinning shyly. “It’s a done deal.”

“Good for you.” Jensen means it. He’s grateful he doesn’t have to feel jealous where Jared is concerned, although he’s a tad embarrassed by how easily he’s fallen for the man. He hasn’t spoken a word to the Native yet, but Jared’s already taken over his mind and body, if not his heart. It’s stupid.

It gets stupider when Jensen’s shift ends and Jared’s at the bottom of the ladder, waiting for him.

“Hey!” Jensen squeaks. “Uh – hey!”

 _Smooth, Ackles. Real smooth._

Jared blinks at him, but says nothing. Jensen’s vaguely aware of Penikett descending the ladder behind him and shuffling off with a quick, “See you tonight, Jen.”

“Yeah,” Jensen answers distractedly over his shoulder. When he looks up at Jared again the man is smiling a little – wait, is that a _smirk_? Is Jared _smirking_ at him? Who the hell does he think he is? Does he think Jensen’s _that_ affected by Jared’s bare chest and fox-eyes and perfect little pointed nose? Not to mention those moles, all laid out in a distracting constellation at points around his face that draw attention to his soft pink mouth, his high cheekbones and strong brow, his sweat-slicked neck…

“You know me,” Jensen says to break the silence. He wonders if Jared can read his mind, another rumor he’s heard about Natives.

Jared nods, lowers his head with a wide grin that shows his dimples. “You know I do,” he says softly, almost shyly, then lifts his eyes to Jensen again expectantly.

“My dreams,” Jensen guesses wildly. “That’s really you in my dreams.”

Jared nods again.

“But we’ve never met,” Jensen states the obvious. “You weren’t really there, when the Raiders burned my house down when I was a kid.” He feels something like panic rising in his chest, and he rushes on before it can bubble forth. “That kid in my dreams isn’t real, but he was you.” He knows he’s not making any sense, but he can’t help himself.

“Do you always have the same dream?” Jared seems to change the subject, but Jensen follows, shaking his head.

“No,” he admits. “Sometimes you’re there, but not always.”

“You got out of that fire on your own that night, Jensen,” Jared says. “I wasn’t there.”

Jensen stares. “You know my name,” he says finally, desperately trying to ignore the shivers he’s getting up and down his spine. “How do you know my name?”

“You told me,” Jared says.

“No I didn’t,” Jensen protests. “I’ve never even met you before today. Wait, did Chris tell you?”

“No, Jensen,” Jared shakes his head. “You did. In my dreams. You’ve been in my dreams, too. That’s how it works.”

“How what works? What the hell are you talking about? How could I be in your dreams? Do you – “ Jensen glances around to be sure they’re alone, then lowers his voice. “Do you even know how crazy that sounds? Because two people who’ve never met having dreams about each other is pretty crazy.”

“Not among my people,” Jared shrugs.

“Your people?” Jensen stares. “You’re a Native. You live alone. You don’t have people.”

“Really? That’s what you think?” Jared scoffs, incredulous. “You think Natives are born loners? What, we’re just hatched out of an egg, is that what you think?”

“No! I don’t know! Maybe.” Jensen blinks, frowning in confusion. He’s never thought about it, in all honesty. He’s never given more than a passing thought to how Natives live. There wasn’t ever any reason to do so. He hadn’t known any, until now.

“We’re people, Jensen, just like you,” Jared says, understandably irritated. Jensen’s being a dick and he knows it. “We have mothers and fathers, sometimes even sisters and brothers and grandparents. We live in small family groups, not big communities like this one, and we move around a lot. Sometimes we meet up with other Native families and join them for a while. Do a little trading, share stories and skills, maybe fall in love and get married, start a new family.”

“And you all have this – dreaming thing you do,” Jensen suggests hesitantly.

“Not all of us,” Jared admits. “But most of us. Psychic abilities seem to run in families. It skipped my parents, but my grandfather had it. It’s part of what makes us outsiders. Communities like yours tend not to trust us or tolerate us for long. We scare them.”

“Because you can see the future,” Jensen accuses. “Because you know people you’ve never met and call them by name.”

Jared’s brown skin flushes a deep shade of pink. He lowers his head as another face-splitting grin brings out his dimples. Jensen’s sure he’s never seen anything lovelier.

“I began having visions of you when I was very small,” he says softly. “I thought you were my big brother. My parents died when I was a baby and I lived alone with my grandfather. You were with me all the time, even when I was awake, so I thought you were real. When I got old enough to realize you weren’t real, I stopped seeing you.”

“Until now,” Jensen suggests. “You began having visions of me again recently?” He’s creeped out just thinking about it, but excited at the same time. He feels a little thrill of anticipation running down his spine, making his stomach flutter.

Jared nods and meets Jensen’s gaze. “I knew about your community. Over the past year or so I’ve had dreams about it, and you’ve been in the dreams. When Chris and Steve set out looking for water, I found them.”

“So you came here looking for me,” Jensen says, and damn it if his voice doesn’t shake.

“I came here to see you,” Jared confirms. “I needed to know you were real.”

“But you said you stopped dreaming about me when you were young,” Jensen says. “How did you know it was me?”

Jared’s expression is irritated and fond at the same time, and Jensen feels like kicking himself. He already knows the answer to that question.

“Same way you knew it was me,” Jared says patiently, like he’s speaking to a child. “I just knew.”

“Wait, but I’m not… I’ve lived here all my life, in this community. I’m not one of you. I’m not psychic, for God’s sake!”

But Jensen knows it’s true. He knows it the same way he knew Jared when he’d only ever seen him in a dream. He knows it even though he’d only been a child in that dream.

Jared watches him, letting the truth sink in, and Jensen paces for a moment, scrubbing his chin almost unconsciously.

“I think I need a drink,” Jensen says finally.

**//**//**

“How did your parents die?” Jensen asks as they sit shoulder to shoulder in the fort’s only bar, deserted at this hour of the afternoon. Most people are working.

“Same way yours did,” Jared says. “Raiders.”

“But you escaped? Somebody got you out?” It’s suddenly more important to know the details, to compare Jared’s story with his own. It can’t be a coincidence. There’s more to it, Jensen’s sure.

“Yeah, somebody did,” Jared agrees. He turns the cup in his hands, thumb rubbing the rim absently. His hands are huge, with long, graceful fingers that make Jensen think about his legs, makes him wonder if they’re long and slender too, under those breeches.

“You never knew who rescued you from the fire that night,” Jensen suggests, and Jared glances up sharply, studying Jensen’s face for a moment before shaking his head. He smiles a little as he lowers his eyes to his cup, raises it to his lips before answering.

“No,” he says after he takes a sip. “I was a baby. Somehow I ended up on my grandfather’s front step. He says he was sleeping the whole time, so it wasn’t him.”

“He didn’t live with you?” Jensen asks. In his experience, old people needed the protection of the community almost as much as infants did. He’s never heard of an elderly person who lived alone.

“He’s a hermit,” Jared explains. “Always has been, even back when he lived with my grandmother. He would go off for weeks or months at a time. Once he was gone for six years, long enough for my dad to be born and grow big enough to start pulling his own weight. Grandfather always said it was too noisy at home. Living with other people was too much of a hassle.”

“But then he raised you,” Jensen says, and Jared’s face relaxes into the dimpled grin that Jensen already loves too much.

“Yeah,” he confirms with a short laugh. “He’d never been around a baby before, since he was gone while my dad was little. It was a real eye-opener for him, I think.”

They share a bowl of thick soup and a loaf of bread, hard as a rock without dipping it in the soup to soften it. The barkeep serves them another cup of the sweet wine that passes for alcohol, and the two men drink and eat in companionable silence.

“What now?” Jensen asks after they’ve finished their food. The barkeep gives them each a cup of water, precious and clean, even if it doesn’t taste as good as the wine.

“What do you usually do at this time each day?” Jared asks, and now it’s Jensen’s turn to grin broadly, cheeks growing flushed and hot.

“Well, it’s siesta time,” Jensen says. “I’m on the night watch, so I usually catch a little shut-eye before the evening gathering.”

Jared raises his eyebrows. “What are we waiting for?”

Jensen laughs out loud, delighted by Jared’s candid invitation. “Did anyone ever tell you you were easy?” he teases.

Jared shakes his head, clearly bewildered, and Jensen rolls his eyes.

“Come on,” he says, sliding off the barstool and heading toward the door. He can’t quite bring himself to tangle his fingers with Jared’s, but he wants to. Jared follows him silently, so that Jensen has to glance back to be sure he’s really there.

Everything about this feels magical. It’s hard to believe it’s actually happening. Jensen leads the man of his dreams to a shed at the back of the compound, where no one ever goes at this hour. When they step inside it’s cool and quiet and smells like oil and leather. In the dim light through the cracks in the shed walls, Jensen leads the way to a ladder in the floor that descends into a root cellar, even cooler and darker than the shed above. At the bottom of the ladder they take a moment to let their eyes adjust to the gloom, then Jensen gestures toward a thin pallet in a corner of the room, behind barrels of potatoes and turnips.

“I’ve been coming here since I was a kid,” Jensen explains. It’s where he dreams, he doesn’t add, but Jared seems to know. He brushes past Jensen and sits down on the blanket that covers the pallet, dwarfing the space. Jensen briefly worries they won’t both fit. The small room smells like the earth that it’s carved out of. Now that they’re both here, it smells like sweat and sun-drenched skin, too. 

Jensen’s hard. Has been for a while. 

“Cozy,” Jared comments, flashing his dimpled grin. When his eyes drop to Jensen’s bulging trousers they darken. “Come here.”

Jensen obeys without even realizing it. He’s been following orders all his life, and although he’s only just met this strange man, he feels like Jared owns him.

That thought makes him shiver as he falls to his knees, waits as Jared rises gracefully to his knees and reaches for the clasps on the front of Jensen’s vest. From this position their height difference isn’t so pronounced, but Jared is still bigger in every way. Jensen’s not a small man, and he’s never been smaller than a sexual partner before. It’s a little intimidating. It’s a lot exciting.  
Jared undresses him carefully, long, slender fingers slipping the vest off his shoulders, easily working the clasps on his trousers. Jensen gasps as Jared’s hand slips around his erection, pulling it free with one hand as he cups the back of Jensen’s head with the other and leans in.

Jared strokes him expertly as they kiss, and Jensen can’t help the moan of pleasure and relief that thrums through him. It’s been way, way too long since anyone’s touched him like this, much longer since he’s had a man. Jared gathers him in, presses their bare chests together, kisses rough and sloppy like he wants to devour Jensen from the inside out. All Jensen can do is hold onto Jared’s biceps tipping his head down when Jared releases his mouth so he can watch Jared’s big hand jerking him with a twist at the top of each stroke. He slips his index finger over the head to mop up the precome that pearls in the slit, using it to ease his way, and, before he can stop himself, Jensen moans and shudders like a teenager, coming hard and hot all over Jared’s hand.

“Sorry,” Jensen huffs out a laugh when he can finally speak again. “It’s been a while.”

“It’s okay,” Jared murmurs. He’s gathered Jensen’s limp body against him like a child, and Jensen knows Jared watched him as he came, because Jensen wants to do the same thing. He wants to see this big, beautiful man fall apart because of Jensen.

He just needs to get a little rest first.

**//**//**

It feels like only a moment later that he wakes to Jared kissing his shoulder, running the tips of his fingers over Jensen’s cheek and jaw, feather light.

Jensen’s lying on his back on the pallet, Jared stretched out long and lean beside him. The only light comes from the square in the ceiling that leads up into the shed above them, and Jensen can tell it’s already past sunset. The light comes from a torch outside the shed, one of several that are lit at sundown to light residents’ way around the fort. It flickers on the walls, causing shadows to dance and move across the cellar below.

“Hey,” Jared murmurs softly.

“Hey,” Jensen smiles. “Sorry I fell asleep.”

“You needed it,” Jared answers, tracing Jensen’s lips with his fingertips before he leans down to kiss him thoroughly.

“Hmmm,” Jensen hums when Jared finally releases him to come up for air. “You want me to…” He reaches a hand down between them, groping for Jared’s dick. Which is when he realizes he’s completely naked, while Jared is still fully clothed.

“No, we don’t have time,” Jared says, his voice laced with sadness. “I have to go.”

“What?” Jensen shakes his head a little to clear it. “What are you talking about? You just got here.”

“Something bad is about to happen,” Jared says. “They’ll blame me, and if I don’t go soon, I’ll never make it out at all.”

Jensen feels ice water shoot through his veins. He props himself up on his elbows and stares at Jared, trying to gauge the man’s mood. Is he serious? Is he crazy? Some combination, maybe?

“Jared, I don’t understand,” Jensen says. “You’re here to help us. You’re here to guide us to water.”

Sighing, Jared runs a hand through his hair, pulling out a feather braided into the long strands. He slips the feather into Jensen’s hand and tangles their fingers together.

“Do you trust me?” he asks, and Jensen finds himself nodding without even thinking about it.

“Of course I do. You’re the dream boy who saved me from the fire.”

“You’re my dream savior too, Jensen.” Jared smiles a little. Jensen can see his teeth flash in the dim light. “I was too small to be sure, but I know it was you who pulled me from the fire. We saved each other.”

“Okay,” Jensen says dubiously. He’s not sure how much of this dream stuff he believes, but he knows there’s something to it. He _knows_ Jared, feels a deep connection to him in his bones. Even if the things Jared says don’t make much sense, Jensen trusts in Jared’s basic goodness, his benevolent intentions towards Jensen and his people.

“I’ve had a vision,” Jared says, breathing hard, as if the memory of the vision pains him. “Raiders are coming. They’ll destroy much of your food and water supply, kill many of your people.”

Jensen is stunned. “What? When?”

“Soon. Tonight, I think. I have to go.”

As if on cue, Jensen hears the sound of running feet, shouts of alarm outside. Shouts of “Raiders! Raiders are coming!” ring out as the fort’s warning bell begins to chime, calling all to arms.

Jared rises quickly and Jensen scrambles up, grabbing onto Jared’s breeches to hold him fast. “How did you know?”

“I’m sorry, Jensen,” Jared shakes his head. “Sometimes the visions happen almost on top of the actual event. I can’t control it. They will try to climb the walls, go straight to the store houses and the pump house. That’s all I know.”

“Okay,” Jensen grabs his clothes, starts dressing quickly as Jared paces, agitated and miserable. The shouts outside grow louder, more urgent. “Can you handle a bow?”

“I’m better with a blade,” Jared admits, and Jensen nods. He’d known that. He’d known Jared had knives hidden in his boots. “Okay then. Stay with me. I’ve got to get back to the front wall.”

Jared nods, but the misery in his face pulls Jensen up short.

“What is it?” he demands. “What’s wrong?”

“Your people,” Jared says. “They will think I am responsible. They’ll blame me.”

“You saw that in your vision?”

But Jensen knows it’s true. It’s too much of a coincidence, Jared’s arrival and the first attack the fort has experienced in at least six years. And although Jensen knows Jared’s got nothing to do with it, he also knows how fearful and suspicious his people are about outsiders. It’s not hard to imagine that they’ll try to pin this on Jared.

But right now, he’s got bigger problems.

“Come on,” he coaxes Jared. He can see the young man’s instinct is to flee. It’s not so much personal fear as the Native’s natural inclination to stay outside the community, to avoid group struggles. Jared had already offered his assistance as a loner and an outsider, but contributing to the community’s defenses isn’t something he usually signs up for.

They emerge from the shed to a scene of utter chaos. Women with small children and old people are crowding toward the compound’s central long-house. Older boys and girls along with all the menfolk and women without children are rushing to the front wall. Jared and Jensen get swept up in the latter group, and Jensen uses his authority as commander of the night guard to assign positions and offer words of encouragement.

By the time they reach the front wall, the raid is in full swing. Arrows fly over the wall into the inner courtyard, many of them tipped in burning oil. Jensen leads Jared up the ladder to the wall, dodging arrows and the community’s own archers, who are busy sending arrow after arrow flying back over the wall at the invaders.

“They’re coming at us from all four sides,” Chris explains when Jensen joins him on the wall. “I need you to take charge of the back wall. They’ve got ladders.”

“I’m on it,” Jensen nods, glancing over his shoulder at Jared. “He’s with me.”

Chris glances at Jared, and Jensen can see the respect he feels for the tall Native. “Just watch your back, Jen.” Jensen understands. It’s not that Chris doesn’t trust Jared, but he knows that Natives aren’t participants. They don’t work well in teams. Jensen would be foolish to assume Jared would cover him in a fight.

Jensen nods because he understands, but he doesn’t doubt for a moment that Jared would stop anyone who tried to hurt him. He’s not sure how he can be so sure, other than the dreams and the strange feelings he’s been having, but somehow he just knows

Jared would walk through fire for him.

The next hours are a blur. Jensen leads a stalwart band of archers and defenders on the back wall, managing to stave off the invasion from the rear. Raiders swarm the ground below the wall, so for the first hour Jensen is busy firing arrows and reloading, with Jared handing him fresh arrows. A crew battles the fiery arrows that land inside the compound with piles of sand and shovels. When the Raiders raise a ladder and start climbing, Jared and a team of defenders meet them at the top, making quick work of each, so that not one of the Raiders manages to breach the wall.

Nevertheless, the platforms become slick with blood, and by the time the Raiders fall back several bodies lie motionless in the courtyard, dozens more on the ground outside the wall. One of the storage houses has burned to the ground, but the fire crews have contained the fire and kept it from spreading.

As the sun creeps up over the smoky horizon, the fort dwellers claim their muted victory without much cheer. Thirty-six lives have been lost, another fifty are wounded, and their supplies have been depleted by a third. Worst of all, they have used more than half their stored water to fight the storage house fire and the well is almost dry.

Beaver convenes an emergency meeting of the council soon after sun-up.

“We’ll never make it another year,” Steen reports, after surveying their remaining inventory. “Even without further raids, we can’t expect the river and natural rainwater to make up the deficit in our water supply now.”

Rhodes nods. “We’ve got another six months, tops. If we don’t get raided again.”

“We lost almost forty people today,” Williams says. “After another raid like that, there won’t be many of us left to feed.”

Morgan steps forward. “This fort can’t withstand another raid like that. We don’t have enough manpower left to defend it. Our enemies know that, and they’ll be back. With reinforcements.”

Morgan’s grim assessment is met with stunned silence. Then Beaver speaks up. 

“Are you saying we need to abandon ship?”

“I’m saying, we need a new home,” Morgan says. “Soon. One with plenty of fresh water and food.”

“If we leave now, we’ll walk right into an ambush,” Williams says. “At least here we stand a fighting chance of survival.”

“If we don’t starve to death,” Rhodes mutters.

“What if we send out an attack party of our own?” Whitfield suggests. “We take the fight to them, clear a path for our people to get through.”

“And lose more of our people?” Williams scoffs. “We can’t afford that.”

“There is another way,” Chris says, and Jensen catches him sharing a look with Jared. “We can send for our own reinforcements.”

“What?” Williams frowns. “Speak up, boy. Share with the class, now.”

“Jared knows about other communities,” Chris says. “When we first met him, he thought we were from a community near Devil’s Lake, in the North Country.”

“Is this true?” Beaver glares at Jared. “There are other communities like ours?”

Jared clenches his jaw, looking uncomfortable. The Native hasn’t left his side since the battle began, and Jensen can feel his body tense, his muscles twitch where their arms touch.

“Yes,” Jared answers, and Jensen suppresses his own surprise.

“And you were going to share this information when?” Beaver glowers.

“I have sworn an oath,” Jared says, shifting his feet so that his arm brushes Jensen’s. “I have been sworn to secrecy.”

“I’ll bet you have,” a new voice snarls from the back of the room.

Jensen watches as Mark Pellegrino steps forward. Pellegrino led the first scouting party, four years ago, when their water first began to run low. He lost his brother on that mission, and did not return until a year later, bitter and slightly deranged. Rumor had it that he had spent part of his time away living with Raiders, helping them do their dirty work just to survive.

Pellegrino isn’t a man to be crossed. He’s a vicious killer who is barely tolerated by the community because of his fighting skills and his knowledge of the outside world. He rarely participates in community politics, preferring to do his job quietly, letting others call the shots.

Jensen doesn’t trust him. There’s an air of deceit and treachery about Pellegrino. He seems always to be scheming and plotting, and Jensen can’t shake the feeling that the man would destroy the community from the inside if he had the chance and it suited his purpose. It makes Jensen nervous to see him here, in the inner sanctum of power. But of course they’ve lost too many today to be picky about who participates in the council meeting. All bets are off now that the situation is dire.

“Do you have something to say, Captain?” Beaver growls. Jensen can see that he doesn’t like Pellegrino, either.

“I just wonder how much Jared knew about what the Raiders had planned,” Pellegrino insinuates. “It seems a little too coincidental that he arrived just hours before their attack. And if he knew they were coming, why didn’t he warn us? Seems to me Jared’s got some explaining to do, wouldn’t you say?”

Ice water shoots up Jensen’s veins, making him shiver. All eyes have turned toward Jared, curious and disinterested for the most part, but here and there Jensen can see fear and doubt, too. Everyone here has lost someone close to them tonight, and the urge to find somebody to blame is powerful.

Just as Jared had said.

“By his own admission, Jared’s keeping secrets,” Pellegrino continues as he saunters forward, his movements slow and graceful, like a cat. Or a snake. “Secrets about other communities, secrets about potential water sources, maybe secrets about what the Raiders are planning. Seems to me, it’s time he shares what he knows. Everything he knows.”

 _Or else._ Pellegrino doesn’t have to say it for everyone in the room to hear his threat.

Jensen glances around, notes the angry nods and clenched jaws as people listen and agree with Pellegrino’s words. Even Morgan is frowning, although he seems more concerned with Chris, whose debriefing had obviously left out a few details.

“Make him tell us what he knows!” a voice cried out from the back of the room. Mark Sheppard, Jensen thinks. He’d know that weaselly accent anywhere.

“Yeah!” Another voice adds. “Make him talk!”

“Now hold on there,” Beaver’s voice booms out, silencing the grumbling crowd. “Let the boy speak. Jared? Is this true? Do you know folks in other communities who could help us out?”

Jared’s lips part, but before he can speak, Shepherd calls out, “How do we know anything he says is true? Maybe he lied to the commander. Maybe there are no other communities!”

“That’s true,” another voice calls out. “If there are, why haven’t our scouting teams found them? In all these years, we’ve been sending out scouting parties and never heard tell of another community. How do we know he’s telling the truth?”

“Natives lie!”

“Yeah!” 

“They don’t care about anybody but themselves!”

“Why should we believe him?”

“He probably wants to see us destroy ourselves!”

More voices chime in, and Jensen finds himself pushed up against Jared, so that they’re standing literally back to back as the crowd surrounds them, leaning in with raised fists and angry faces.

Later, Jensen’s not sure what made him do what he did. All he knows is, his anxiety levels are through the roof and he needs the crowd to back off. Next thing he knows, he’s throwing his arms up, yelling at the crowd to, “Back off!”

“I mean it!” he shouts as the crowd hesitates. “Get back! Just listen for a minute! Everything he says is true, okay? It’s true!”

The faces around him register confusion; Jensen is someone they generally trust, plus he’s taller than most of them, and they all know what a good fighter he is.

“Jensen?” Jared hisses, and Jensen can feel his confusion. He shoots Jared a warning look over his shoulder and shakes his head. Jared hasn’t told him squat, of course, but that’s neither here nor there. At the moment, Jensen just needs these people to settle down. He’ll deal with Jared’s lack of transparency later.

“He’s told me what he knows,” Jensen lies, meeting Morgan’s eyes briefly before locking eyes with Jim Beaver. “He’s promised to show me this other community, the one Chris mentioned. We can go there, be back with reinforcements within a month, six weeks at the most. You all just need have to hold out till then. Now, I know you can’t spare any people right now, so I’ll go. Alone. And I will return. You have my word.”

Beaver tries to stare him down, but Jensen can see the relief in the older man’s eyes, even as he narrows them to appear skeptical and distrusting.

“Morgan?”

“It sounds like a reasonable plan,” Morgan says, biting back his obvious displeasure with Jensen and Chris for apparently withholding information. “I had planned to send Ackles on the next mission. He’s well-trained and rested, and Kane speaks highly of him. That’s good enough for me.”

“It’s settled then.” Beaver glances at Jensen, then Jared. “You boys head out as soon as you’re ready.”

“Yes, sir.” Jensen nods, relief making his knees weak. Jared puts a hand out to steady him, but Jensen shakes his head. It won’t look good if they appear personally involved right now.

Unfortunately, the gesture isn’t lost on Pellegrino. “Really,” he smirks. “You’re going to send these two out into the world and expect them to come back? I never pegged you for a fool, old man, but that’s pretty idiotic, if you ask me.”

“No one’s asking you, Pellegrino,” Morgan growled, but Beaver put his hand up to silence him.

“This community operates on trust, Mark, and you know it,” Beaver says. “I trust Morgan, who trusts Kane, who trusts Ackles, who trusts the Native. That’s the way it has to be. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to stay.”

The threat of exile, of permanent banishment, is always the harshest possible punishment, as Pellegrino well knows. No one but a Native can survive in the wilderness alone. Pellegrino’s found that out the hard way, according to the rumors. His jaw clenched, he glares hard at Jensen, hatred radiating off of his body in waves.

But he keeps his mouth shut, and Beaver gives a satisfied nod.

“All right then. Everybody back to work.”


	2. Chapter 2

Morgan personally hustles them out the gate. “Make it quick. Pellegrino’s men are out for blood.”

Jensen barely has time to collect a small pack with water and a little dried food. He hasn’t slept much since the night before last, so he’s mostly running on adrenaline as he says farewell to Morgan, Chris, and Steve.

“Make us proud, Jenny,” Chris says as he gives Jensen a quick hug.

Steve squeezes his shoulder and nods, too overcome with emotion to speak.

Once the gate closes behind Jensen and Jared, they start off at a jog toward the western horizon.

“We should put as much distance as we can between us and the fort by nightfall,” Jared says, and Jensen nods.

The land is flat and hard, soil no longer rich and covered with prairie grasses as it once was. In less than two hours Jensen’s knees start to ache from the impact. He slows down on instinct, then stops altogether as his belly cramps up and his heart pounds. Bending over with his hands on his knees, he gulps lungfuls of warm air in an effort to clear his head. When he opens his eyes, Jared’s standing not two feet away, looking as cool and rested as he did when they left the fort.

“I hate you,” Jensen gasps.

Jared’s perfect lips tilt up in a smirk. “That’s not what you said last night,” he reminds Jensen, who grins despite himself.

The sun beats down, and it’s already hot, but Jensen’s suddenly flushed with another kind of heat, one he is unable to resist when it comes to Jared.

Damn him, anyway.

He takes a sip from his canteen, shakes his head. “I don’t see how we’ll ever get where we need to go and back in a month,” he says. “We’ve been running for two hours and we’re only a few miles from home. How are we going to make it all the way to the North Country? Isn’t it a thousand miles?”

Jared studies him for a moment, then shakes his head. “You have no faith, Jensen Ackles.” He turns away and lifts his hand to his mouth, issuing a piercing whistle that makes Jensen’s ears ring.

“Ow! What the hell?”

But when Jared does it again something extraordinary happens. At first, Jensen thinks he’s seeing things. Movement on the western horizon grows into a wall of tumbling waves, moving toward them. He feels the ground shake beneath his feet.

“What the hell, Jared?” He turns his gaze away from the horizon to stare at his lover, whose face breaks into a dimpled grin of pleasure so intense it seems to block out the sun.

“You’ll see,” Jared promises.

Jensen looks back at the horizon, and now he can make out shapes. A herd of wild horses is headed for them as if they’ve been summoned. As if Jared’s whistle had called them.

Okay, then.

“Stand your ground,” Jared advises as the herd draws near without showing any signs of slowing down.

Jensen fights the urge to run, or at least throw himself and Jared out of the way of the stampede, but he does as Jared commands. He’s beginning to see just how out of his element he is, so far outside the gates of his home. Yet Jared seems to be exactly where he belongs. It’s disturbing.

At the last minute, the horses slow and break formation to circle the two men, kicking up so much dust around them that Jensen starts to cough. Despite his earlier sense of hundreds, up close Jensen counts only twelve horses of various colors and sizes.

“Whoa, now.” Jared’s voice over the dust and pounding hooves is strangely soothing, calming. Jensen feels himself relax as the horses slow to a trot around them, whinnying and snorting. Jensen is watched by large, intelligent eyes, as if the horses are checking him out. Now that they’re so close he could reach out and touch one, but he lets Jared be the first.

A large roan mare stops circling to pace in front of Jared, tossing her head and making deep, guttural sounds in her throat. Jared speaks low and soft to her, keeps his hand out until she puts her nose into his palm. At first she huffs and jerks away, but after two or three retreats she finally stills, leaves her muzzle in his hand, nostrils flaring only a little. She tolerates him as he moves his hand up under her chin.

“That’s it,” Jared murmurs as he slides his hand up her neck and shifts in close, letting her get comfortable with his nearness as he brings up his other hand to stroke her muzzle. “That’s it, girl. Whoa now.”

Jensen glances around. The other horses have quieted as well, pacing and jostling each other. A muzzle butts against his shoulder and he turns to find a large dark horse blinking at him, her long lashes drooping coquettishly. She head-butts him again and Jared laughs.

“She likes you,” he teases.

“Jared, how did you – how do these horses come to you like that?” Jensen’s almost afraid to ask.

Jared shrugs. He caresses his horse’s muzzle and neck, reaches up to scratch behind her ear. He’s covering her in his smell, Jensen realizes, helping her to get to know him.

“Animals respond to me,” he says simply. “Their minds are simpler than people’s, but their feelings are just as strong.”

“You read their minds,” Jensen clarifies, and Jared shrugs.

“Whatever you want to call it,” he says. “I can sometimes get them to come to me when I call, to help out when I needed them. These beauties are descended from domestic stock. They’re more comfortable around humans than most animals.”

Jensen finds himself nuzzled shamelessly by the big horse beside him, so he puts his hand up as he’s seen Jared do. The mare buries her soft muzzle in his palm, snuffling noisily, then takes another step so her head rests over his shoulder. Jensen strokes her dusty neck, then curves his arm up around her neck as he strokes her face, charmed at having this large, powerful animal give him so much attention.

“I feel like I should have something to feed her,” Jensen muses, and Jared laughs.

“They love sweet things,” he said. “Apples, carrots, grapes. You give her a peach and she’ll love you forever.”

Jared lays his big hand on the neck of Jensen’s horse and speaks softly to her. “You gonna let Jensen ride you? Huh?” He looks up at Jensen. “You need to give her a name. Use it when you talk to her. Once you do, she’s yours.” He turns to his own horse. “Isn’t that right, Angel?” The mare tosses her tawny head up and down, as if she’s nodding. Or laughing at him.

Jensen considers for a moment. “Well, if peaches are the way to her heart, then that’s what I’ll call her.” He reaches up the horse’s long neck to her ear, rubbing along behind it as he’d seen Jared do. “You gonna be my peaches and honey, Baby girl?” he crooned softly. “Huh? Gonna let me ride you?”

“You should stop talking to her like that,” Jared says, his voice tight. When Jensen glances up at him, his eyes are dark. “Makin’ me jealous.”

Jensen flushes hot and adjusts his pants and the quiver on his back. “Okay, let’s do this thing,” he mutters. “What’s the plan?”

“The plan is, we ride these horses as long as they’ll let us,” Jared replies.

“And how do we get them to take us where we want to go?”

“We don’t,” Jared shrugs. “But it beats walking, and they’ll always go to water. They know how to find it on instinct.” He rubs Angel’s neck. “You need help?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Jensen assures him, slipping out from under Baby’s neck so he can reach up to grab her mane. He runs his other hand along her back, over her flank. She quivers under his touch and he realizes how tall she is, how much of a jump it will take. He can feel Jared watching him with amusement, so he braces himself. “Whoa, girl. That’s it. Here I go.”

The moment he jumps, Baby sidles away from him. He makes it, but just barely. As he scrambles to position himself she keeps moving, tossing her head and side-stepping, stamping her feet.

She doesn’t buck, though, and he knows he’s got it when he’s able to swing his leg over her back and cling with his thighs, one hand still tangled in her mane, the other arm wrapped around her neck.

He knows how awkward he looks, how ungainly and sloppy his mount, lying flat on his stomach against the horse’s back. He’s clinging for dear life, but he’s made it. “Whoa, girl, that’s it,” he croons into Baby’s ear as he loosens his hold on her neck enough to stroke her. She quiets almost immediately, settling under his weight like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

He looks up at Jared, finds the Native staring with more than a little pride in his gaze.

“Not bad,” he comments. “For your first time,” he adds with a little smirk. “She really likes you.”

Jensen watches as Jared swings himself smoothly onto Angel’s back. She sidles and turns as she adjusts to Jared’s weight, tossing her red-gold mane before settling. The two horses rub muzzles, as if making a pact with each other over their human cargo, and Jensen grins like a fool. Baby’s backbone is a little uncomfortable, and he can already feel the soreness in his thighs that will make it hard to walk later, but overall he feels good.

“How’re you doing?” Jared asks as he sits back on Angel, and Jensen nods.

“This is awesome,” he declares, and Jared returns his grin.

“Yeah, our ancestors were on to something,” Jared agrees, then taps Angel’s sides with his heels. “All right, girl, you take us west, now. Help us find that promised land.”

As if they understand, and Jensen’s not sure they don’t, the horses turn west, back the way they had come, and take off at a gallop. Jensen holds on for dear life at first, the pounding hooves all around him drowning out all other sound, the wind in his hair dominating all other sensation. After a few minutes he finds himself acclimating to the rhythm of the powerful muscles moving under him, and exhilaration replaces his earlier terror. The ground disappears under Baby’s hooves in a cloud of dust, shaking beneath them, and although the sun beats down just as intensely as before, Jensen doesn’t feel it so much.

Riding definitely beats walking.

**//**//**

The horses carry them west for over a week.

The first night, the horses find a brackish stream for them to bed down next to. Jared and Jensen tumble off their horses’ backs and fall asleep almost before they hit the ground, huddled together for warmth. When Jensen wakes, the horses are grazing nearby, and Jared is pressed up against his back, bare arm wrapped around him, breath warm against Jensen’s neck.

It’s still dark, still a couple of hours before dawn. Jensen hugs Jared’s arm and lies still, relishing the peace and warmth of Jared’s broad chest, warmer than any blanket. Despite the desperation of their situation, he feels calm, safe and protected in Jared’s arms. Cared for.

It occurs to him, not for the last time, that they’re free, that they could take off into the wilderness alone together and no one back at the fort would be any the wiser. Part of Jensen _wants_ that, wants to spend the rest of his life on the run, moving from place to place, never settling down for long anywhere. Never being tied down. Never having to be responsible for anyone but himself and Jared.

It’s the Native in him, he realizes. It’s what Jared told him earlier.

He’s never considered it before, but maybe his folks weren’t just hold-outs from that earlier time when families tried to eke out a living on the fringes. Maybe Jensen does come from that strange, exotic genetic heritage of early deserters, those people who left society because they could literally see what was coming before it all fell apart. They were labeled “Natives” because they literally went native, left the world of man to return to the earth, to live in communes or hermitages, separate and alone and filled with prophecies.

Maybe Jensen’s one of them at heart.

He thinks back on his life, on the ways he’s always sought out solitude, on his preference for being alone in everything he does, from hunting to his shifts on the wall to the hidden places he sleeps. Was it because he couldn’t bear too much company? If his brain was hard-wired to read other people’s thoughts and see their futures, maybe he suppressed it by staying away from others, by never getting too close.

Chris always called him a loner, teased him about his penchant for solitude. Penikett helped Jensen see that his bisexuality made him different, gave him his outsider’s edge. Nature made him different, and he’d accepted that. Now that Jared had come into his life, Jensen knew he’d been waiting; part of him always knew Jared would come.

He’d foreseen it.

As soon as Jensen admits that to himself, it’s as if the floodgates open. Memories of other dreams fill his mind, even daydreams that he had pushed down and denied, hadn’t let himself acknowledge because they didn’t make sense.

Jensen sees a group of women, standing tall and proud, staring at him with suspicion in their eyes. He sees Pellegrino, face twisted in fury, bearing down on Jensen with a knife in his hand.

Jensen starts awake. He’s shaking, breathing hard. Jared stirs behind him, rubs his hand over Jensen’s chest.

“Shhh,” Jared whispers into his neck. “It’s just a dream. It’ll pass.”

“I think I just had a vision,” Jensen confesses, and Jared’s hand stops. He presses his lips against Jensen’s neck and Jensen can feel his smile.

“I told you you were one of us,” Jared murmurs.

Jensen turns onto his back, facing Jared, and reaches up to cup his stubbled chin, pulling him in for a long, deep kiss.

“I never thanked you,” he says when they come up for air. Jared’s big hands are everywhere, stroking Jensen’s back, sliding up between their bodies and back down again.

“For what?” Jared sucks on the skin beneath Jensen’s ear, making him moan and arch up.

“For staying with me,” Jensen gasps as Jared bites down on his earlobe then suckles it, none-too-gently. “For not running when you had your visions, back at the fort.”

“Couldn’t leave you,” Jared thrusts against him, rough and needy. “Never leaving you.”

“Okay,” Jensen moans, choking back a sob as Jared’s hand slides down between his legs to grasp his erection through his trousers, squeezing and rubbing until Jensen bucks up for more.

“It’s my turn,” he manages to choke out. “I want to touch you, Jared.” He clings to Jared’s biceps, thrusting up into his hand as Jared worries the skin under his jaw. Jensen’s desperate and needy; he’s never wanted anyone so urgently.

“I’m dirty,” Jared says between kisses. “Sweaty. I smell like a horse.”

“I don’t care,” Jensen says. “Wanna taste you. Want you in my mouth.”

“Your mouth,” Jared repeats as a shudder rolls through his body. He lets go of Jensen’s dick, lets Jensen push him over onto his back so Jensen can straddle him. Jensen sits up and takes his vest off, leans down to kiss Jared’s mouth first, then his chin and jaw. Jensen scoots down so their dicks rub together through their clothes, then works his mouth down Jared’s chest to his stomach. Jared’s skin tastes like sunshine and dust, salty with sweat and tangy with horseflesh. Jared’s hands move over Jensen’s shoulders and into his hair, messaging his scalp as Jensen kisses the cut of Jared’s hip, just visible over the top of his breeches.

When he looks up Jared’s long body for permission, he meets Jared’s dark eyes gazing down at him. His lips are parted and his chest rises and falls faster than normal. Sweat shines on his broad brow. As Jensen starts to tug the breeches down, Jared stops him.

“I’ve never – this is new for me,” Jared says. His breathing is ragged, making his words come out shaky and clipped. Hesitant.

Jensen’s surprise must show on his face, because Jared blushes and closes his eyes.

“You’ve never done this?” Jensen clarifies. “Ever?”

Jared shakes his head, eyes still squeezed shut.

“How – how old are you?”

“Twenty-four,” Jared answers. “By your reckoning, I have twenty-four years.”

Jensen’s never bedded a virgin before. In the close quarters of the fort, couples pair off fairly young. Jensen hasn’t been a virgin since he was fifteen, and although his experience with men has been limited, neither of his past male lovers were virgins either. He finds it hard to imagine someone as desirable as Jared going for so long without anyone to share his bed.

But then, there’s a lot he still doesn’t know about Jared. The young man has been on his own most of his life, that much Jensen knows. Raised by a hermit grandfather to be a hermit. Didn’t sound too social.

“Okay,” Jensen says. “So I’m older than you. I’ll teach you.”

He finds it hard to believe Jared’s never given so much as a hand job before. He did it with so much confidence back at the fort, made Jensen so sure he knew what he was doing.

Jared’s an enigma. A damned sexy enigma.

Jensen might not be falling in love yet, but he’s as fascinated by this man as he’s ever been by anyone.

When he lowers his mouth to Jared’s swollen cock, Jared makes a sound that’s somewhere between a whine and a whimper. Jensen stretches his lips around the head and uses his hand, slicked with spit, to work the rest. There’s just no way Jared’s giant cock is going all the way down Jensen’s throat without dislocating his jaw, which probably isn’t the best idea since they’re in such desperate straits at the moment. If they had more time...

Jared seems happy just the way Jensen’s doing it. He bucks and writhes and moans, clenching his fists in the thin blanket which serves as their only protection from the hard cold ground. When Jensen looks up, Jared’s eyes are still squeezed shut, as if he can’t stand to watch, and Jensen can’t have that. He needs Jared to see him.

“Jay.” Jensen pulls off long enough to get Jared’s attention, then holds his gaze as he takes Jared’s dick into his mouth again.

“Ah, fuck!” Jared gasps, eyes blown as dark as Jensen’s ever seen them. “Jensen!”

It’s all the warning he gets before Jared’s shooting hard and long, losing it as Jensen had known he would. Jensen swallows, licking up every drop before crawling up Jared’s long body to give him a deep, thorough kiss. Jared trembles as he tastes himself, as Jensen tangles his fingers in Jared’s hair, yanking on it as he licks into Jared’s mouth, nips at his lips.

“Jensen,” Jared breathes again when Jensen finally releases him. Jensen sits back on his haunches and pulls his own dick out, stroking himself as he stares down at Jared, all debauched and flushed, lips swollen with Jensen’s kisses, dick spent and limp from Jensen’s blow job. Knowing he did this, that this huge, gorgeous man is in this fucked-out condition because of Jensen, is all it takes to send Jensen over the edge. He closes his eyes and tips his head back as he comes hard all over his hand, feeling a low growl escape his throat.

As he comes to, he gazes down at Jared’s body, marked with a couple of drops of Jensen’s come. It strikes him that he might have gone his whole life without this, always assuming Jared was just a dream.

His gaze roams to Jared’s face, and he feels the strange familiarity that he felt the first time he laid eyes on Jared. It’s been less than forty-eight hours since that moment, but already Jensen feels that he’s known Jared all his life.

It’s still weird, but it’s getting less so. Jensen’s never had a relationship that lasted more than one night, and already he and Jared have been together longer than that. Ordinarily, Jensen feels panicked, feels the need to move on before he gets too attached.

With Jared, it’s different. Everything’s new and exciting, but somehow also comfortable and easy at the same time. Natural.

He tucks his dick away, then leans down to lick himself off Jared’s stomach, sliding his hands up Jared’s sides. The warm, smooth skin feels good, and the way Jared moans and writhes makes Jensen smile.

“Tickles,” Jared confesses, and Jensen can’t resist. He tickles and tickles Jared’s soft skin while Jared writhes and chokes on his own laughter, dimpling deeply, teeth flashing. Jared tries to roll away but Jensen’s on top of him and they roll together, laughing till they’re both breathless and gasping. Jared ends up on top, straddling Jensen, holding one wrist in each of his big hands, and Jensen stops struggling to stare up at Jared, breathing hard. His face hurts from smiling, and with Jared’s weight holding him down, he’s already half hard again.

Jared’s hair falls down around his face. With the moon behind him Jensen can’t read his expression, but he can feel Jared staring at him.

“I could get used to this,” Jensen muses.

“Being held down by me?” Jared asks, breathless. He tightens his grip on Jensen’s wrists.

Jensen grins. “Being out here, in the wilderness,” he says. “With you.”

Jared says nothing, just gazes down at him for another moment. “It’s lonely sometimes,” he says softly.

“Wouldn’t be lonely if we’re together,” Jensen shrugs.

“That’s true.” Jared leans down and presses his lips to Jensen’s, gentle and tender. Jensen can feel his erection, trapped between their bellies. Jared rubs against Jensen’s dick through his trousers and Jensen moans. “I want you to fuck me,” Jared murmurs, kissing along Jensen’s jaw to his ear. “Would you do that, Jensen?”

Jensen’s fully hard now, dizzy with lust, Jared’s words sending shivers through his entire system.

“Yes,” he gasps. “Yes, I’ll do that. But not here. Not right now.”

Jared raises his head, gazes down into Jensen’s face.

“Not because I don’t want to,” Jensen assures him quickly, afraid Jared’s got the wrong idea. “I do. God, I do. But you’ve never done that before, and I want it to be good for you. Wanna take my time with you.” He doesn’t say he’s never done it either. No need to let Jared know that Jensen was fucked by a man twice his age when he was only sixteen.

At least Jensen knows firsthand what Jared is asking.

“Okay.” Jared releases Jensen’s wrists, sucks in a shaky breath. “Okay.” He cups Jensen’s face carefully, like it’s something fragile and precious. “After we get to Amazonia then.”

“Amazonia?” Jensen’s confused. Jared never gave a name to the place they’re headed.

Jared nods, swiping a thumb over Jensen’s bottom lip, making him tremble with need. “You’ll see,” he says. “They’ll like you. They’ll be happy to give you what you want.” He leans down, grinding his dick against Jensen’s as he kisses him. “You’ll see.”

Jensen’s so far gone, so shivery with lust and something else he doesn’t understand, all he can do is moan in response.

He’s never wanted someone so powerfully, and he’s starting to think he never will.

//**//**//

The rest of the week passes in a blur. During the day the two men ride, and at night they sleep and have incredible, mind-blowing sex. It’s like a kind of sex honeymoon. Jensen’s never been so sated and desperate for someone at the same time. It’s not like him to pine for a person who’s right there next to him all the time, but he does. He can’t get enough.

On the fifth day they reach a river. They strip and bathe and wash their clothes, whooping wildly as they splash and play in the cold water. It’s clean, and the horses drink from it, so they fill their nearly-empty canteens and drink their fill, collapsing on the bank naked afterwards. Jared twines their fingers together, brings Jensen’s hand to his mouth and proceeds to lick the water off first his fingers, then his wrist, moving up to the sensitive skin inside his elbow and sucking there. By the time Jared rolls on top of Jensen they’re both panting and hard. Jared straddles Jensen’s hips, reaching back behind him to grab Jensen’s erection, sliding it between his buttcheeks until the head hits his rim.

“Want you,” Jared moans as he rubs his hole against Jensen’s dick. “Want you so bad, Jensen.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Jensen gasps, reaching up to cup Jared’s strong jaw, getting a handful of his long wet hair so he can pull him down for a kiss. “Soon.”

Jared kisses him, hard and hungry, then slides his body down between Jensen’s legs, kissing and sucking as he goes. He takes time with Jensen’s cock, then his balls, and Jensen’s a quivering, incoherent mess by the time Jared licks his perineum. When Jared pushes his legs back, Jensen grabs behind his knees and lets him go to town. No one ever did this for him before, and Jensen decides it makes him a kind of virgin, like Jared. It gives them something to share.

When Jared pushes his tongue into Jensen’s hole he lets out a sound that doesn’t sound quite human, and for a wild moment Jensen wonders if someone else has joined them.

Then Jared starts suckling, mewling and jerking himself furiously, and Jensen loses it, comes all over himself like a goddamn teenager.

It’s hands down the hottest sex he’s ever had.

**//**//**

At the end of the week, they reach the desert.

The horses snort and paw the earth, refusing to go further, and Jensen doesn’t blame them. Stretching before them, as far as the eye can see, is dead land. Not just scrub-brush and cactus, but really, truly dead. Sand as far the eye can see.

Well, that’s not strictly true. There’s a distant line of mountains, so far it’s blurred by the heated air between it and them.

“Is it – “ Jensen squints, trying to decide if he’s actually seeing what he thinks he sees, or if his new vision sight is imagining the whole thing. “Are the mountains real?”

“Oh yeah,” Jared nods, not even squinting, the bastard. Jared seems to know where they are, and that just pisses Jensen off. He’s supposed to be the leader of this expedition. “They’re real. We just have to get there.”

“Okay,” Jensen nods. “Let’s go.”

“It’s a five-day walk,” Jared says. “No water. The horses can’t go.”

“Oh,” Jensen says.

“We travel at night, sleep under rocks during the day.”

It doesn’t sound fun.

They camp under an outcropping of rock, eat the last of the rabbit Jensen caught this morning, ration their water. It’s over a day’s ride back to the closest water source, but they knew this was coming so they’ve already been rationing.

“There’s no other way, right?” Jensen asks, although he already knows the answer. “No way around?”

“Not without going weeks out of our way,” Jared confirms.

They can’t afford that.

They don’t have sex in order to preserve their strength. After more than a week on the road, Jensen’s jittery and overwhelmed just being near Jared. He watches him when he sleeps, when he rides, when he’s focused on starting a fire to cook their food. Being this focused on another human being is new to him, and he’s not sure how to feel about it.

“We could just take off, you know,” he says to Jared as they lie in the shade of the rocks after eating their fill. “No one would ever know.”

Jared nods, watching the sunset while Jensen watches Jared, at the way the colors shadow and play across his high cheekbones and strong jaw.

“ _You’d_ know,” Jared says with conviction, and Jensen drags his eyes away from Jared’s face to look at the sunset.

It’s really glorious, but Jensen liked the other view better. He sighs, then starts a little when Jared leans in and kisses his cheek.

“It’s one of the things I love most about you,” Jared confides. Jensen frowns, turns to look at Jared, but Jared’s staring out at the horizon again, where the sky is pink and purple and orange. “You have so much goodness in you. You really care about all those people.”

“Don’t care much for Pellegrino,” Jensen admits, and Jared makes a face.

“You’re loyal,” Jared says. “You put their needs before your own. I’ve never had to do that.”

Jensen shrugs. “They took me in,” he says. “Raised me to be one of them. I don’t think of myself as separate from them.”

“You just offered to run away with me,” Jared reminds him with a grin.

“I did, didn’t I?” Jensen grins back, gazing into Jared’s multi-colored eyes as the light fades. “What an idiot.”

Jared’s gaze drops to Jensen’s mouth, then he leans in and Jensen closes his eyes. They kiss slowly, tenderly. Jared seems determined to show Jensen how precious he is, how much he cherishes Jensen, and Jensen’s okay with that.

Although it’s a little terrifying, being this important to another human being. It’s not something he’s used to.

But with Jared, it feels normal, as if it had always been this way, if only Jensen hadn’t been too stubborn to believe in his own dreams.

When they drift off together, safe in each other’s arms, it occurs to Jensen that Jared’s already dreamed all of this. He knows how it’s supposed to go.

That thought doesn’t freak him out as much as he thinks it should, and that doesn’t even bother him.

He’s in deep, he knows it, and he doesn’t really mind one bit.

**//**//**

When they wake up, the moon is high in the night sky. The horses are gone.

They gather their packs. Jensen shoulders his quiver, clutches his bow like a lifeline. They’ll make it, Jared has assured him of that, but Jensen’s still apprehensive. Starting out onto that dead, sandy surface feels like stepping out onto the moon. There’s no guarantee they’ll make it, just Jared’s promise that he knows the way. Jensen has to trust him.

Jensen’s never been good at trusting people.

After all the riding, Jensen’s whole body aches. He’s a little out of shape, and the walking hurts more than it should. At a certain point the sand gives way to the flat, hard surface of a former lake bed, tufts of sagebrush and tumbleweed scattered here and there. Jensen’s thighs are sore, and by the time the sun comes up behind them his legs throb. Before the sun is halfway up the sky they find the overhang of rock that Jared promised would shield them from the heat of the day. Jensen all but collapses in its relatively cool shade.

When Jared offers to rub his back and legs Jensen moans with relief. He flops onto his stomach and surrenders to Jared’s big, capable hands like an overgrown baby. It’s well over an hour later when he wakes. Jared’s stretched out next to him, sound asleep. Jensen reaches a hand out, tucking a stray lock of hair behind Jared’s ear, let’s his fingers trace Jared’s cupid’s-bow lips. He’s been dreaming, something about the two of them lying together on a bed in a dark room, somewhere Jensen’s never been before. It’s a good dream, but it’s also something more.

It’s another vision, Jensen realizes. He’s dreaming something that hasn’t happened yet, but will. It makes him wonder about the other dreams he’s had over the years. He’s certain now that he dreamed about Jared before he met him, although the only dream he ever remembered was the one where Jared’s saving him from the fire, the one that’s impossible since Jared’s four years younger than Jensen. But if Jared’s right, then Jensen’s psychic abilities have always been there, hovering just below the surface of his consciousness. Maybe Jensen’s having visions now because Jared’s presence has triggered them. Maybe being with Jared allows his latent abilities to emerge in the relative safety of their combined solitude. Maybe he couldn’t remember his dreams in the past because his brain wasn’t able to deal with them yet. Maybe it was his brain’s way of protecting him from something he couldn’t understand and wasn’t ready to believe.

Lying on the desert floor, out of the midday sun, miles from anything or anyone, it’s almost possible to believe Jared isn’t real – that Jensen has been dreaming these past few days. He’ll wake up back at the fort, before Jared arrived, and his life will go on as it has done for years, without Jared.

That thought makes Jensen’s chest hurt so much he lets out a whimper and Jared’s eyes flutter open.

“You okay?” he croaks sleepily. He reaches out his long arm, stroking Jensen’s cheek with the backs of his fingers, and smiles. “You watching me sleep?’

“What? No! Of course not,” Jensen scoffs, making a face that makes Jared grin broadly.

“We’re gonna be fine,” Jared assures him. “We’re gonna make it.”

“No, I know that,” Jensen says, as if a moment before he wasn’t doubting everything, including his own sanity. “Of course we are.”

Jared nods, serious again as he gazes into Jensen’s eyes. “I love you,” he says simply, as if that’s the reason everything will be okay.

Which it sort of is.

**//**//**

They eat dried meat and some of the dried berries and nuts Jared gathered before they started their desert trek. They sip water and sit side-by-side to watch the sunset. It would be romantic if it wasn’t so serious. Jared promises they’ll have another full moon without clouds tonight, and Jensen nods sagely and pretends he already knew that, hiding how impressed he is with Jared’s knowledge and understanding of the natural world, how sure he is of the immediate future.

Jared probably dreams the future all the time. It’s normal for him.

When they start walking again, Jared never hesitates. He seems to have a map in his head. He navigates by the moon and stars, as far as Jensen can tell, but he also seems to know exactly where their next shelter will be, long before they get close enough for Jensen to see it. He seems to know exactly when they’ll get there, so that they can stay out of the sun and the hottest part of the day.

Jensen tries hard not to be impressed, but it isn’t easy. Jared’s kind of amazing.

The third day passes the same way, although Jared picks up the pace a little. At a certain point he turns them south, which bothers Jensen, since it’s off the direct western path they’ve been on since they started.

When they reach a rock formation with green plants scattered along the edges, Jensen understands.

“There’s an underground stream,” Jared explains. “We can refuel here. Just watch out for snakes.”

There are caves, cool and protected from the sun and the dust storm that’s loomed on the horizon since sunrise. Jared combs their sleeping area for snakes while Jensen pulls out food. He refills their canteens with the cold water that bubbles up from deep under the rock face. They wash and shave, and Jensen feels almost human again. The night schedule is a lot like his night watch back at the fort, and he’s already used to it, used to sleeping through the heat of the day and getting up at sunset to walk by the light of the moon. It still feels unreal and dream-like, but he’s getting used to that feeling, too.

When they bed down together, Jensen reaches for Jared. They don’t speak as they kiss, long and lingering. Jensen runs his fingers through Jared’s hair and Jared touches him everywhere with his long fingers, his big gentle hands. They come simultaneously with their mouths pressed together, swallowing each other’s moans.

Afterwards, Jensen cleans them up while Jared dozes, then Jensen lies down to watch Jared sleep until he can’t keep his own eyes open a moment longer.

He’s never been happier.


	3. Chapter 3

They wake up to a raging dust storm. It roars and whistles, blackening the air outside so they can’t tell the time of day. It might be evening already, it’s so gloomy and dark outside. They can taste the dust, gritty and dead-tasting in their mouths. There’s no question of going anywhere until it stops, so they pick through their meager supplies for something to eat. Jared kills a snake and skins it while Jensen builds a fire out of the dead branches and other debris that have blown into the cave over the years.

They’ve finished their meal and are filling their canteens again when disaster strikes.

Later, Jensen can’t remember much about the moment the snake bites him except the pain. It’s like being shot through by one of his arrows, only it’s on fire. He remembers Jared being there, a giant mountain of energy. Jared kills the snake, treats the wound with knife and fire and his own mouth maybe, although Jensen’s not too sure about that last part. The pain is excruciating; it makes him sob and grunt while Jared curses and moves quickly. He thinks Jared’s hauling him up, trying to get him to stand, but the pain is too great and he passes out before he can take a step.

When he wakes again, he’s lying on a bed in a strange room, although there’s something oddly familiar about it as well. It’s cool and the bed is soft, the low ceiling made of rough-hewn wood. He’s dressed in a simple sleeveless tunic and nothing else, but he can see his clothing stacked neatly on a stool in the corner, his bow and quiver leaning on the wall beside it.

As he starts to sit up, his leg throbs, and he remembers the bite, remembers Jared half-carrying, half-dragging him out of the cave. He’s not sure about much after that, but he has a vague memory of Jared carrying him, cradling him in his arms like a baby. He was in so much pain he couldn’t really help himself, but he’s amazed at the memory anyway. He’s not a small man.

The door opens before he can sit all the way up.

“You’re awake!”

A young woman enters, carrying a tray with something in a bowl that smells incredible. She has a devilish grin, flashing eyes, and long red hair, most of it swept back in several braids that fall down her back.

“Jared said you’d wake up about this time.” She sets down the tray on a table next to the bed, then sticks her hand out in greeting. “I’m Danneel, but my friends call me Danni.”

“Jensen,” Jensen says as he takes her slender hand in his. She’s slender all over, built like a bird with something fierce and tough about her at the same time. Jensen’s completely charmed.

“Oh, I know,” Danni says. “You’re famous. Jared used to talk about you all the time.”

Jensen frowns, uncomprehending. “I don’t – I’m sorry, where am I?”

“You’re in Amazonia, duh,” Danni rolls her eyes.

“How did I get here?”

“Your big hunky boyfriend carried you.” Danni confirms Jensen’s suspicion, and it makes him flush with embarrassment. “Two days from Central Oasis, and he carried you every step of the way. We don’t call him Mountain Lion Man for nothing. Now here. Eat something.”

“Where’s – where is he? Where’s Jared?”

“He’s sleeping, duh,” Danni rolls her eyes again, puts a hand on her hip and gestures toward the bed. “He brought you all the way in here, healed your ass, undressed and bathed you, then sat next to you until you started breathing normally again. He wouldn’t rest until he knew you were okay, but now he’s totally crashed. He’ll probably sleep for hours. He would’ve crashed right here but I told him no way. Told him I’d take care of you when you woke up so he could sleep, so here we are.”

Jensen stares from her frank, open beauty to the food on the table and shakes his head. “Thank you. Did Jared tell you why we’ve come?”

“Eat first,” Danni insists. “You need to recover your strength. Jared already told us why you’re here, and believe me, any friend of Jared’s is a friend of ours. That man’s a fuckin’ miracle worker. He probably didn’t tell you this, because he’s so goddamn modest, but he saved our lives a few years ago. We were all dying from some stupid virus, and he cured us. He’s got serious skill as a healer. Any community would be lucky to have him. But of course he’s a Wanderer. He won’t stay anywhere long.”

While she talks Jensen sips the soup, which tastes just as amazing as it smells. He can feel how weak he is, his body recently wracked with fever, his leg still throbbing with pain.

“Maybe now he’s got you, he’ll settle down,” Danni goes on thoughtfully. “It sure would be useful to have him around. We don’t have enough men as it is.”

Jensen frowns. “How large is your community?” He’d assumed Amazonia was at least the size of the community at the fort.

“We’ve got over a thousand women and children,” Danni acknowledges. “But only fifty-two men.”

“But Jared told us you’d be able to help us,” Jensen says. “We’ve got a siege situation with Raiders, and we need reinforcements to rescue our community.”

Danni smirks. “All of us are trained warriors, Jensen. We’d be fools not to know how to protect ourselves. Every child over the age of twelve knows how to handle a blade.”

Jensen shakes his head. “I don’t understand,” he says. “How can your community survive with so few men?”

“Our community was founded by women several generations ago,” Danni explains. “Our founders believed that men had caused all the destruction, the Holocaust, the Purge, everything, and in the future there should be fewer of them. In the early days, men were useful only as breeders. Our founders lured Natives and other Wanderers so we could breed with them, then killed them so they couldn’t reveal our location.”

Jensen’s eyes widen and he suddenly realizes how vulnerable he is, unarmed and wounded. He wonders briefly if he should throw the hot soup in Danni’s face and make a run for it.

Danni seems to understand his sudden panic. “Don’t worry, Jensen,” she hastens to reassure him. “We don’t need to operate that way anymore. Enough men find us when they want to, or wander in by mistake and choose to stay. Our resident males are all here of their own volition, and they’re all sworn to secrecy. We don’t have to force anyone anymore, nor kill them afterwards.”

“Well, that’s a relief, I gotta say,” Jensen admits. “So – the men who live here – “

“They’re a protected minority, essentially,” Danni nods. “We can’t allow them to go out on rescue missions because we can’t afford to lose them. I suspect it’s the opposite where you come from.”

“Not exactly,” Jensen says. “Our women fight to protect the fort, just as our men do. Only the women who are caring for young children are exempt from the most dangerous work.”

“And pregnancy is strongly encouraged, since your numbers are so low,” Danni suggests with a arch of one perfect eyebrow.

Jensen shakes his head. “I wouldn’t say it’s public policy, exactly,” he says. “But bachelors like me tend to be few and far between.”

“Lone wolves are a threat to the stability of the community,” Danni nods sagely, like she’s quoting something, and Jensen can almost hear Captain Morgan’s voice in his head saying much the same thing.

“Yeah, that’s the idea, I guess,” Jensen agrees. “They tolerate me, but I get a lot of questions about when am I going to settle down. Also, I tend to get picked for the dangerous missions.”

Danni nods. “That’s because you’re expendable,” she says. “Your contribution to the community isn’t as highly valued as a man who gets married, has kids, becomes a law-abiding citizen. That man is helping to build a civilization.”

Jensen shakes his head. “But the community needs both,” he protests. “We need people who are willing to put their necks out, who don’t have as much to lose. All of our explorers, scouts, our top fighters are all single and unattached. Well, mostly. It’s hard to be both.”

“We do it,” Danni shrugs. “We don’t pair off in monogamous relationships because we don’t have to. The family unit isn’t just father, mother, children. It’s aunts and sisters and cousins and mothers and grandmothers. Our entire community is one big family, and no one is expendable.”

“What about love?” Jensen can’t help asking, since he’s pretty sure he’s feeling it for Jared, now that they’ve survived their journey.

“Love,” Danni scoffs. “You mean lust. It’s temporary. What you probably think of as romantic love doesn’t exist here. Pairing off leads to jealousy, secrecy, delusions of power. It’s selfish and strongly discouraged. Our loyalties are always to the group first. No single individual can achieve greater importance than any other, either personally or politically.”

“Huh.” Jensen tries not to show the distaste he feels, and Danni smiles. She’s beautiful, Jensen can see that, and although he can feel sexually attracted to her, he’s not sure he likes her very much.

“You’re welcome to join us, Jensen,” she says, soft and seductive. “You’d be a valuable addition to our community, with your bone-structure and athletic build. We could use a man like you.”

The thought of becoming a voluntary breeder, of having sex with multiple women just for the purpose of conceiving children, makes Jensen’s stomach roil. Being used for his genetic material isn’t something Jensen would ever sign up for willingly.

He’s grateful it’s not a hundred years ago, when he would have been a prisoner if he’d accidentally stumbled on this place.

Jared brought him here, so he knows he’s safe, but the place is definitely giving him the creeps already. He feels anxious to start his return journey.

“Nah, I’m good,” he tells Danni. “I just need to get home, save my people. Thanks, though. That’s real thoughtful of you.”

Danni smiles broadly, more genuinely, a blush rising in her cheeks as her eyes sparkle. “Too bad,” she says, swinging her hips a little. “There’s a sweetness about you. I get the feeling you and I could have had some real fun together. Maybe we still can, before you leave...”

“No, actually, I think I’m in a monogamous relationship at the moment,” Jensen says hastily. Before he’d met Jared, Danni was just the kind of girl he liked: self-possessed, confident, flirtatious and funny, smart.

Now he finds her terrifying.

“Your loss,” she shrugs, flipping her hair casually. “But if you change your mind, or you decide you want a little on the side...”

“Really, I’m good,” Jensen assures her. “I just – thank you. Really, but that’s okay. Can I see Jared now?”

Luckily, Jensen’s saved from any more uncomfortable conversation by Jared’s arrival. Jensen’s so relieved he almost falls out of bed, and it’s a good thing he put the soup bowl down before the door opened or it would’ve gone flying.

Jared’s look of relief mirrors his own, and for a moment the rest of the world falls away as they gaze at each other as if for the first time. Jensen’s struck again by how vivid and real Jared appears. He remembers more dreams now, other times he dreamed about Jared when they were younger. It fills Jensen with a sense of familiarity, of reclaiming his own childhood after the loss of his family. Jared’s mere presence is grounding in the midst of so much that’s strange and new.

The next moment Jared crosses the room and scoops Jensen into his arms, pulling him in as tightly as he can.

“I thought I lost you,” Jared babbles against Jensen’s ear, pressing his cheek against Jensen’s as if he can’t get close enough, as if he would crawl under Jensen’s skin if he could.

Jensen understands because he feels the same way. “It’s okay, Jay,” he murmurs back. “You saved me. I’m okay.”

He’s vaguely aware of Danni clearing her throat, shuffling awkwardly and muttering, “I’ll just go then, I guess. You two obviously need a little time...Yeah, okay. Bye.”

As soon as the door closes, Jared shucks his clothes and climbs onto the bed, pulling Jensen into his arms. He kisses Jensen’s cheek, his neck, his temple. Tender, breathless kisses that convey intense emotions that Jensen feels too, even if he’s not as expressive as Jared. Jared loves him, wants him, needs him, would die for him, walked across a desert in the burning sun for him.

How did Jensen get so lucky?

When their mouths meet, Jensen tastes Jared’s tears, realizes he’s crying, too. How could anyone not want this? How could anyone think this doesn’t exist? This love that searches the world to find its match, that dreams and envisions itself into being, that walks into burning buildings and crosses mountains and barren landscapes and waits for years? Why has he been wasting time trying to figure out whether he really loves Jared when he knows in his very soul that he does? How could it take almost dying to make him see the truth?

Because Jensen’s a stupid, stubborn asshole, that’s how.

Jared’s big hands are everywhere, frantic and possessive. They rub their bodies together, desperate and needy, erections trapped between their bellies as Jared slides one hand up under Jensen’s tunic, the other hand on the back of Jensen’s neck. He ruts against Jensen’s hip, careful to keep his weight off Jensen’s wounded leg. But it really doesn’t hurt anymore anyway, not compared with the raging need he feels, the desire to possess and ravage Jared to within an inch of his life.

They come simultaneously, moaning into each other’s mouths, riding the wave of pleasure as it crests, then sliding down the other side into a relaxed, sleepy afterglow. Jensen barely registers it when Jared gets up to clean them up, then crawls back into bed with him, pulling him close against his chest as they fall into deep, restful slumber.

**//**//**

When they awaken, Danni brings them food and water, tells them Amazonia’s Council will see them when they’re dressed and ready. Jensen feels her eyes on him as he climbs out of the bed and limps to the chair for his clothes. Jared’s already up, dressed (chest gloriously still bare, praise be) and pulling his boots on.

“Too bad you two can’t have babies together,” Danni comments. They both glance up at her, then at each other. “I mean, damn. They’d be really, really pretty babies.” She shakes her head and leaves, shutting the door behind her.

“She likes you,” Jared comments. “A lot.”

“Yeah, well, I’m taken,” Jensen says, pulling his trousers on. He has to bend over to do it, and he can feel Jared watching him. When he turns around, Jared’s cheeks are flushed pink.

“You sure are,” he says softly, eyes glistening.

Jensen pulls his vest on, takes a deep breath. “So, you’re really sure about this?” he asks. “These people will help us? Give us what we need?”

“I’m sure of it,” Jared nods.

“Good, because I am itching to get out of here,” Jensen says. “This place gives me the creeps.”

**//**//**

Amazonia is huge. It’s built into the rock face of what must have been the western wall of the desert, a massive outcropping that’s more of a cliff. It provides a perfect view in three directions, up high enough that Jensen can see for miles across the desert they just walked. It’s settled into the foothills of the blue mountains he saw when they started their journey, and Jensen imagines it’s well protected from intruders by virtue of its height and the sheer impossibility of anyone being able to climb up to it unseen. Likewise, there doesn’t seem to be any easy way down from the cliffs above, making it an almost impenetrable fortress, as far as Jensen can see.

“Impressive,” he remarks to Jared as Danni escorts them to the central council chamber.

“They’ve been here for six generations,” Jared agrees. “It’s the most successful community I’ve ever seen.”

Everyone they pass in the busy street glances curiously at them before going on with their business, and although Jensen glimpses a couple of children who might be boys, almost everyone else is female. They all wear the same simple breeches and tunic, hair worn in a variety of styles and lengths, but all tied back or braided like Danni’s hair. No one wears their hair long and flowing like Jared does. No one wears his masculinity as courageously, and it makes Jensen absurdly proud of him.

In the council chamber, Jensen and Jared are guided to seats of honor at the big round table that takes up most of the room. Women take their places in no particular order that Jensen can see, although a couple of older women seem to be paid special deference. There are no men.

“Jared tells us your community is under siege by Raiders,” one of them says without formal introduction.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jensen nods politely. “We humbly request your assistance.”

“We can send three hundred of our best fighters,” the other older woman says. “We will rescue your people, bring them here as our guests until they are prepared to cross the mountains to the Western Sea. Then we can escort you to your new home, if you wish.”

“That’s very generous,” Jensen says, keeping the doubt out of his voice. “We would be most grateful to accept your offer of rescue, and your temporary hospitality. However, I don’t believe the escort will be necessary. Jared will be our guide.” 

He’s not sure how Morgan and the others will take the offer, but he’s fairly sure they’ll want to move on as quickly as possible, not spend more than a week or two refueling before starting out again. He can almost hear Morgan’s voice in his head, declining any offer to stay permanently, although Jensen has a feeling these people would like that. Morgan won’t want to lose anyone, and Jensen is fairly certain none of the Amazonians will be allowed to join the Wanderers.

Wanderers. There it is. That’s what Morgan’s community will become, once they leave the fort. It’s a daunting thought, and Jensen’s a little overwhelmed when he thinks about it. Being homeless has always been his greatest fear.

“Very well,” the old woman nods. “We leave in the morning. Meanwhile, I hope you will join us for a banquet in your honor. Jared is quite the hero around here, and any friend of Jared’s is an honored guest of Amazonia.”

“Thank you,” Jensen nods and smiles as politely and formally as he knows how, and Jared puts his arm around his shoulder as they leave the council chamber.

“You’re a natural diplomat,” he whispers, and Jensen feels warm all over.

It’s getting dark outside as they exit into the street, Danni leading them back to their quarters. She raises her hand in greeting to friends, who gaze curiously at Jared and Jensen as they pass, just as they did before.

Jared’s arm is heavy and intimate across Jensen’s shoulders, his head tipped to touch Jensen’s, as he murmurs,“Don’t forget your promise.”

Jensen hasn’t forgotten. It’s all he’s thought about, even when he was too feverish with snake venom to think straight.

“You know, here they think there’s no such thing as love,” Jensen murmurs back. “They think sex is just sex.”

“I love you,” Jared says. “And I want you. I don’t see how you can separate it.”

“Neither do I, Jay,” Jensen admits, because with Jared that’s just the way it is. “Neither do I.”

**//**//**

They tolerate the evening’s banquet and musical presentation since it’s all in their honor. The Amazonian fighters are pumped and excited to hit the road in the morning, and they seem especially grateful to Jensen for giving them an opportunity to do what they’re trained to do.

“We don’t get a lot of Raiders here, anymore,” Captain Genevieve confides after she introduces her commanders. Jensen tries not to act surprised that such a small, petite woman can command such a large army. He’s learned not to be surprised by much about this place. “Our reputation has spread far and wide. They don’t dare to attack anymore.”

Jensen raises an eyebrow skeptically. “Or they’re just dying out,” he suggests. “I got the feeling their raid on our community was last ditch. Desperate. They’re thirsty and starving with fewer and fewer outlying communities or settlers to attack. They seem to be bonding over this attempt to break through our walls, and working together has never been their strong suit. They’re better at tearing themselves apart. I don’t think they’re expecting us to come back with reinforcements.”

“Then the battle will be short and brutal,” Genevieve says. “Our fighters are well-trained. The Raiders would do better to avoid us.”

“Maybe they will,” Jensen shrugs. “Maybe they’ll see us coming and high-tail it back to Hell. That would suit me just fine.”

He takes a sip of his wine and catches Jared’s eye over the rim of his cup. Jared’s eyes are dark, almost black, the way they are in Jensen’s dreams. He’s not sure what that means, but it turns him way the hell on. He’s suddenly looking for any excuse to leave the party early.

“You know, Captain, I think Jared and I will turn in early tonight,” he says, turning his most charming smile on Genevieve, who looks slightly startled and glances at Jared apprehensively.

“Is everything all right, Jensen?” she asks, and Jensen smiles his reassurance.

“Everything’s fine,” he says with a glance at Jared. “I think we both just need a little rest before the journey tomorrow.”

“Of course,” Genevieve nods, casting a concerned look on Jared. “He does look tired.”

 _You have no idea,_ Jensen purrs to himself as he rises to go.

It takes them almost ten minutes to leave the party. Women and girls drape themselves over both men as they say their goodbyes, overtly offering sex without any attempt to be subtle. It’s overwhelming, and Jensen’s relieved when they’re finally alone.

Relatively. Danni and another woman escort them back to their rooms for their own safety, which is even creepier. Jensen’s starting to wonder if traveling with these Amazons isn’t asking for more trouble than it’s worth.

But of course the lives of all of his friends and fellow fort-dwellers are at stake, so he doesn’t question it very seriously.

Nevertheless, they’re both profoundly relieved when they’re finally back in their own rooms with the door closed firmly behind them. And the moment Jared pushes Jensen back into the wall and takes his face in his hands, Jensen forgets everything else but Jared.

The only light in the room comes from the fireplace, which casts Jared’s skin in golden hues and shadows. As they undress they keep their mouths on each other as much as possible, stroking each newly-exposed area of skin until they’re both warm and glowing. Jensen kisses down Jared’s chest, suckling his nipple, sliding his hands down the soft skin of Jared’s sensitive sides to his slender hips. When he drops to his knees on the rug in front of Jared, the Native gasps. Jensen takes Jared’s cock-head into his mouth, licks the slit as he works the long, thick shaft with one hand, slipping his other hand under Jared’s balls to his hole. Jared gasps as Jensen’s fingers find the puckered skin, and he shifts his legs apart to allow Jensen better access. Jensen plays with Jared’s hole and balls as he sucks his cock, getting him comfortable with the feeling. He still can’t quite believe this is new for Jared, and he feels more than a little pressure to get it right.

“Jensen,” Jared gasps, and Jensen looks up, keeping Jared’s dick in his mouth. Jared stares down at him, eyes blown completely dark, eyelids at half-mast. His lips part and his tongue works the corner of his mouth, as if he’s pretending to suck Jensen’s dick. “I can feel you.”

 _Of course you can,_ Jensen thinks as Jared’s eyes close and his big hands cradle Jensen’s head.

Then Jensen feels a warm, wet mouth on his throbbing dick, suckling it.

He jumps, startled enough to let Jared’s dick slip from his mouth. “What the hell was that?”

Jared opens his eyes with a tiny, satisfied smile. “You could feel me,” he says. His eyes are almost completely black. “You could feel what I feel.”

Jensen understands, or thinks he does. It’s a psychic connection, another Native ability he’s heard about. “Yeah,” he admits, swallowing against the tightness in his throat.

“It can intensify the experience,” Jared murmurs, stroking Jensen’s cheek. He runs his thumb along Jensen’s lower lip. “You can feel everything I’m feeling.”

Jensen gazes up at the man in front of him, at his glorious golden skin, his soft, shy smile, and just like that, he gets it. Jared wants him to share his first time. He wants Jensen to know what it’s like to wait so long for something precious and good, something worth waiting for. Jared wants Jensen to know how it feels to be cherished.

Jensen ducks his head, grinning. He’s certain he was seeing into Jared’s head somehow, although there were no words. Jensen was seeing into Jared’s heart.

“Is that really possible?” he whispers. Jared drops to his knees and grabs Jensen’s hands, pressing the palms against his chest. Jensen feels Jared’s heart pounding, feels his hot, smooth skin.

“You heard me,” Jared murmurs, voice choked with emotion. “Jensen, you can hear me.”

“I don’t know, I don’t know,” Jensen mumbles, overwhelmed. “I don’t know what’s you and what’s me – “

“It’s both of us.” Jared slides his open palm across Jensen’s chest. “We’re bonded. This – this is how it feels.”

Jensen lifts his eyes to Jared’s, sees that they’re blown all black, without even the irises showing. It’s like his dream, terrifying and beautiful at the same time.

Jared gasps, and Jensen knows his eyes are the same. Or maybe they’re not, it’s just the way they look to each other. Maybe they’re both dreaming.

“If we join now, we can never be parted,” Jared says.

It’s too much. It’s overwhelming. Jensen feels a panic attack coming on and he need to run –

Warm, soothing thoughts flood his mind, his body. Jensen begins to relax, takes slow, deep breaths to avert his impending hyperventilation. He lifts his eyes to Jared, seeking reassurance. Jared’s eyes are normal again, his expression full of sympathy. Empathy.

“Okay,” he nods. “Okay.”

His hands are trembling as they roam over Jared’s warm skin, pulling him in for a kiss. Something deep inside him is pushing its way forward, some ancient biological function he doesn’t understand. It’s the thing that makes him dream, that gave him Jared, that made Jared and Jensen come together.

He spreads Jared out on the rug in front of the fire. It’s easier there. Beds are too small to contain them, too small to contain this thing they’re creating between them. With their union seas will rise, heavens will open and rain pour forth. They are like the long-forgotten human gods of ancient civilizations, giving birth to new worlds.

As Jensen mouths his way across Jared’s torso his mind is filled with images of rivers and lakes, of mountains capped with snow. As he spreads Jared’s legs and kneels up between them, he sees their people, past and future, riding the wild horses on rich, grassy plains. When he pushes into Jared’s body he can feel it, can hear oceans crash against rocky beaches, can see stars lighting skies where no smoke masks their clarity.

As Jared rocks against him, moaning his pleasure aloud, Jensen feels it deep inside. Being joined with Jared is like making a pledge, a vow to create something new from the ashes of the world that came before. When Jensen spills deep inside Jared’s body he feels his seed expanding, filling dead spaces an making them fertile again.

Jensen rolls to the side, pulling Jared with him, sleepy and warm. Jared’s eyes are closed, his face relaxed in sleep, but he smiles when he feels Jensen watching him, feels Jensen’s fingers brushing the hair back from his face.

“Hmmm,” he hums contentedly. “That was – “

“Yeah,” Jensen sighs.

They doze in each other’s arms, and later when Jensen wakes up Jared’s curled around him, breathing deep against the back of his neck. They’re not attached anymore, but Jensen feels Jared all around him, inside him emotionally and mentally, if not physically. Jared’s a part of him now.

He’s pretty sure that’s the way it should be. The way it was always meant to be.

**//**//**

That night, Jensen dreams. In the dream, he and Jared get up the next morning. They spend the day preparing for their return journey. With the Amazons accompanying them, they travel through the desert at night, just as they did to get here. When they reach the other side of the desert, Jared and Jensen summon their horses and ride on ahead to the fort, to herald the Amazonians’ arrival.

The dream changes. Shortly before they reach the fort, they’re attacked by Pellegrino and a group of Raiders. The fight is short and dirty because they knew it would happen and they’re prepared. Jared’s knife and Jensen’s arrows are dipped in snake venom. Danni and Genevieve swoop in at the last moment to ambush the ambushers, and it’s all over. 

The dream changes again. Jensen and Jared and the Amazons rescue Morgan’s community and bring them back to Amazonia, and Jared leads them on through the mountains, all the way to the sea. It takes several months before they arrive at their new home, many years before they manage to build and settle enough to reclaim the sense of security and community that they lost with their old home. But Jensen knows that day will come. Jensen knows that one day they’ll all feel as comfortable in the new place as they did in the fort.

He also knows that he and Jared won’t be there to see it. As the dream changes again, Jensen sees a different future for himself and Jared. He sees them scour the country, looking for survivors and communities like theirs, offering to bring them across the desert, too. He sees them meet up with other Natives, bonding with them briefly to dream of other futures.

But mostly Jensen dreams of he and Jared on their own, just the two of them, alone but never lonely because they have each other. They explore the world together, saving people, helping the world to heal itself. Jensen was never a believer in destiny before, but with Jared anything seems possible.

Anything.

Jensen wakes sometime later, as the sun is just beginning to rise. The light filters into the room and plays across Jared’s tan skin, making it glow. As he watches, Jared’s eyes open and he smiles, his cheeks dimpling deeply.

“Did you see it?” he asks, and Jensen nods.

And so it begins.


End file.
